April 23, 2010

7 of 15 ... but I am Tired

Oh, I am not tired of reading. This challenge has kept me going through some very difficult days. In order to read, I have had to clear my mind. But I am tired. I am frustrated.

I was told of the loss of a really good person this week. I haven't even been able to get my head around the tragedy in the Gulf of Mexico yet. I know BP drillers. I know Transocean contractors. One of my Cub Scouts' dad worked on that platform. I haven't heard if he was on rotation. I don't want to call in case he was.

I am not good (on a good day) with stupidity and incompetence. When I meet them on a bad day, things spiral downhill. I have run into a brick wall of stupidity, incompetence and downright deceitfulness over the last week as I have tried to refinance my mortgage. I can't even begin to write about that or I will lose all focus for the rest of the day.

I am tired and I am sad. I want to crawl into a hole. At least I can take a book with me.

Yesterday I took Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis into my hole. How I love Lewis. I never understand why so many people find him so difficult to read. I find him so approachable. Reading his books seems like having a conversation with a good friend.

If you didn't know, Mere Christianity began as a series of radio talks Lewis gave during some of the darkest moments of WWII. His voice lifted a nation and helped many individuals get through trying times. Maybe that is why this is even more like a conversation ... it was. It was a conversation with England.

It was a blessing to the people then and it was a blessing to me yesterday.

Reality in fact is something you could not have guessed. That is one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It is not a religion you could have guessed.

And that is precisely what Christianity is about. This world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumour going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.

He knows all about it. You are one of the the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner that that) He will fling it on the scrap-heap and give you a new one.

Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.


  1. C. S. Lewis is one of my good friends too, in the way you mean. It might sound strange, but "The Horse and His Boy" got me through some of the darkest days of my life - days where the image of Shasta walking across the endless desert where the mountains in the distance never seemed to get any bigger was the only analogy that seemed to explain what was going on in my family's life.

    Anyway, I'm glad his book was there for you today. And thanks for your "Old Breed" review yesterday. I didn't comment, because I couldn't think of anything to say, but it was good to read.

  2. So sorry to hear that you're tired and struggling. I know how that feels, and I can see how CSL would be a good companion for that. I don't think I've read this one--I read Narnia, the space trilogy, Screwtape and the heavenly bus trip one--but I think it's still on my shelf, and one I intend to get to, one day.

  3. Screwtape is an all time favorite. Everyone in my house loves Narnia. I want to read the Space Trilogy this summer. I am much happier today. A sunny weekend seems to be helping.